Three days later, she sent me a message. Just ‘hi’. I responded immediately and asked her if I could come see her. She said yes. I was her boyfriend, we loved each other. But I did not go to see her. I forgot.
She finally left. That is said not with an air of sadness. Sadness I do not feel but I know is there.
It had to come to this, there was no other way. See, for the past several months – close to a year, or maybe even a year – I had taken liberties with the relationship.
Not that I did not love the girl anymore, I did not love being in the relationship any more. Ok, that does not make much sense. Truth is, I did not want it any more. I love the girl, she is the perfect girlfriend.
But I do not want to be in a relationship with her anymore. The relationship had become simply LIFELESS. Yes, that is the word, lifeless.
When I thought about her, I felt happy, but I did not want to be with her any more like a man should be in a relationship.
Now, do not go thinking about this sexually, that is not what I am talking about. Though, I sadly must admit that things in that corner had also gone downhill, down a very slippery slope, about the same time I started not liking being with her.
So for some reason, I had gotten bored. And my boredom had bred all kinds of evil in me. I hardly ever called the girl; she called me ALL the time.
Her texts were like a one-sided conversation with ‘ok’ from me dotting the conversation at long intervals. I could see her wondering what had happened to me, and soon, she asked me.
She had to.
“Eugene, what happened to you?” “Nothing happened to me. What do you mean anyway?” “You are strange. You have been acting strange.” “No.” “Yes.” “No.” “Please do not just say no. Tell me what is wrong. Did I do something?”
“No,” I replied.
At this point I knew I was pushing it but I could not help myself. I just did not have any other answer for her. I knew what she was talking about but I had no answer for her. She gave me a long look and walked away.
For three days I did not see her, I did not talk to her. I knew I must call her. I must ask how she is doing.
She was my girlfriend, and we had had a mini-fight and she had walked away. I was supposed to check on her.
But I could not bring myself to do it. I kept telling myself that I would call in the next 30 minutes, I would call before I went to bed, or in the morning, or after lunch.
Three days later, she sent me a message. Just ‘hi’. I responded immediately and asked her if I could come see her. She said yes. I was her boyfriend, we loved each other. But I did not go to see her. I forgot.
Or I did not want to. It did not really matter. I saw her the next day. I said I was sorry. I think she forgave me. She did not talk about it. But that was three months ago.
What got me kicked out of the door was not even half as bad as that.
She said, “I love you Eugene. But you do not love me anymore. Do you?” And I said, no. I meant it. She looked at me long and hard. There were tears in her eyes.
She then walked out. I went to bed and slept for 14 hours and had a nice dream where I was falling in love; but not with her. I am not going to go after her. I love her, but I do not want to be in a relationship with her anymore. Love fades.
